THE FIVE COMMANDMENTS (THE PENTABARF)

The PENTABARF was discovered by the hermit Apostle Zarathud in the Fifth Year of The Caterpillar. He found them carved in gilded stone, while building a sun deck for his cave, but their import was lost for they were written in a mysterious cypher. However, after 10 wks & 11 hrs of intensive scrutiny he discerned that the message could be read by standing on his head and viewing it upside down.

KNOW YE THIS O MAN OF FAITH!

I - There is no Goddess but Goddess and She is Your Goddess.There is no Erisian Movement but The Erisian Movement and it is The Erisian Movement.
And every Golden Apple Corps is the beloved home of a Golden Worm.

II - A Discordian Shall Always use the Official Discordian Document Numbering System.

III - A Discordian is Required during his early Illumination to Go Off Alone & Partake Joyously of a Hot Dog on a Friday; this Devotive Ceremony to Remonstrate against the popular Paganisms of the Day:

IV - A Discordian shall Partake of No Hot Dog Buns, for Such was the Solace of Our Goddess when She was Confronted with The Original Snub.

V - A Discordian is Prohibited of Believing what he reads.

IT IS SO WRITTEN! SO BE IT. HAIL DISCORDIA! PROSECUTORS WILL BE TRANSGRESSICUTED.

Test Question from Topanga Cabal The Twelve Famous Buddha Minds School: If they are our brothers, how come we can’t eat them?

I Tell You: One must still have chaos in one to give birth to a dancing star!

–Nietzsche

THE SACRED CHAO

(table of contents)

- JOSHUA NORTON CABAL -

Surrealists, Harlequinists, Absurdists and Zonked Artists Melee

POEE
is one manifestation of
THE DISCORDIAN SOCIETY
about which
you will learn more
and understand
less

We
are a tribe
of philosophers, theologians,
magicians, scientists,
artists, clowns,
and similar maniacs
who are intrigued
with
ERIS
GODDESS OF CONFUSION
and with
Her
Doings

How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I found Her

being a Beginning Introduction to The Erisian Mysterees

Which is Most Interesting

as Divinely Revealed to My High Reverence MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER, KSCOmnibenevolent Polyfather of Virginity in Gold
and
HIGH PRIEST of THE PARATHEO-ANAMETAMYSTIKHOOD OF ERIS ESOTERIC (POEE)

HAIL ERIS! -><- KALLISTI -><- ALL HAIL DISCORDIA!

Dedicated to The Prettiest One

The uproar of one hand clapping

Some excerpts from an interview with Malaclypse the Younger by
THE GREATER METROPOLITAN YORBA LINDA HERALD-NEWS-SUN-TRIBUNE-JOURNAL-DISPATCH-POST AND SAN FRANCISCO DISCORDIAN SOCIETY CABAL BULLETIN AND INTERGALACTIC REPORT & POPE POOP.

GREATER POOP: Are you really serious or what?
MAL-2: Sometimes I take humor seriously. Sometimes I take seriousness humorously. Either way it is irrelevant.
GP: Maybe you are just crazy.
M2: Indeed! But do not reject these teaching as false because I am crazy. The reason that I am crazy is because they are true.
GP: Is Eris true?
M2: Everything is true.
GP: Even false things?
M2: Even false things are true.
GP: How can that be?
M2: I don’t know man, I didn’t do it.
GP: Why do you deal with so many negatives?
M2: To dissolve them.
GP: Will you develop that point?
M2: No.
GP: Is there an essential meaning behind POEE?
M2: There is a Zen Story about a student who asked a Master to explain the meaning of Buddhism. The Master’s reply was “Three pounds of flax.”
GP: Is that the answer to my question?
M2: No, of course not. That is just illustrative. The answer to your question is FIVE TONS OF FLAX!

suspended annihilation

PRINCIPIA DISCORDIA
or
How I Found Goddess
And What I Did To Her
When I Found Her

THE MAGNUM OPIATE OF MALACLYPSE THE YOUNGER
Wherein Is Explained
Absolutely Everything Worth Knowing
About Absolutely Anything

A jug of wine, A leg of lamb
And thou! Beside me,
Whistling in the darkness.

Be Ye Not Lost Among Precepts of Order…
The Book of Uterus 1;5